I Crush You

(I figure that today, I'm far removed from the gentlemen in question.  So suck it, unrequited love or something like it).

1.I'd rather dance with you (Kings of Convenience)

           First Intense Infatuation wasn't a genius wünderkind.
           You hardly talked to him during training. He stumbled through a class report, clearly hungover. It's surprising how quickly you fell—the too-cool party animal was never your type. Most of the time his fratboy behavior made that niggling crush go away.
           But your cheeks flushed anyway, when he'd rest his shoulders against the wall two inches from your face. You wrote a story that will never see the light of day. And despite yourself, as you saw him glide through the hall four years later, you thought about the warmth of his arms.

 2.Everything you want (Vertical Horizon)

          In college, you and your friend fell in like with the same guy.
          She got to him first, however, and pretty and vivacious (and thin) that she was, you stood no chance of wandering beyond Friend Zone. And so, you spent lunches with him talking of inconsequentially important things, quipping from musicals and reveling in geekery. For the first time in your life, a man actually got you, cresting on the same lonely wavelength.
           You could have been the one for him too...if he actually had noticed you.

3.Curbside Prophet (Jason Mraz)

          The man was shorter than you, and to be honest, wasn't quite as good-looking as another colleague. But there was something intrinsically charming about him, a magnetism that relied on wit and earnestness. This was a guy who could conquer mountains with his words and passion. You never let on about your attraction, convinced you were alone in finding him attractive.
          Years later, you and he have a chance encounter, and all your girl friends who knew him sigh in admiration.
           Go figure.

 4.You're So Damn Hot (Ok Go) 

           By now, you thought, you really should have learned your lesson.
           Alas, Cupid Lite strikes again, this time in the form of a twinkly-eyed senior attending your sophomore class. Contact is minimal, blushing at the optimum, and your awkward sleuthing leaves much to be desired.
           It's a hollow re-realization when you stare at the mirror and take in your appearance.
           You've got no game, and the man's a top athlete.

5.You're So Vain (Carly Simon)

          Your interactions with the objects of your almost-affection always follow a pattern, and the latest, brief one was no different.
           First comes that sudden awareness, blindsided by the wideness of his grin, the twinkle in his eyes, his general hygiene. Then comes the ludicrous fantasies that you eventually blurt out, as a grievous tactical error, to your friends. Finally, the One Incident that puts all your daydreaming to a screeching halt.
           Forever alone.

Because Jam is Racing Against Sunbeams

French-kiss the morning
It is your favorite time of the day.
In those few minutes between slumber and the shower, you feel a faint embrace of the warm dawn air. It lingers as you try to hold on to remnants of your dream, and suddenly bursts as the phone utters a shrill reminder.
As the hours plod forward, your dream wisps into the haziness of your recollection, and you are left with a warm, brilliant smile and eyes aching to protect.

Pray to the god of sex and drums and rock n’ roll
The heavy bass line thrums through your system, undulates and uncoils like a sweet summer wind. It takes a moment for the beat to pick up, and soon you see yourself in a roomful of people, slick sweat and lust redolent in the air. It is not merely a dance; it is the clash and the kismet of a hundred souls, gyrating for lost wishes and unfulfilled dreams and aching, bursting rebirth.
With upraised arms and a shuttered gaze, you join in the fervent ritual.
As the last guitar solo twangs into a yearning silence, you open your eyes and see your bedroom once more.
Few think you’d be the type to bump and grind.

Make the rocking world go round
You thought you could make a difference.
You still might. You’re young, after all. So what if you’re not slaying metaphorical, political dragons, saving damsels and the demographics from the tyranny of antediluvian laws and practices? Heck, some people made their mark past death!
Even as you rationalize, however, the years of youth—and that of hope, and change, and wrinkle-free skin—are slowly slipping away, and you squander them all in mediocrity.

Find a stairway to heaven
You’ve spoken about it a lot. Cried buckets to your unobservant best friend, mentioned Frost and snowy evenings in passing, routinely discussed the best methods.
Still, they think you won’t do it. A cry for attention, some think; spoiled little brat. Others say that your Catholic upbringing has permanently imprinted hellfire and damnation on your skull should you attempt to try. The few who knew you at the edge of seventeen know you won’t do it, if only for the memory of a bright-eyed sylph who faded far too soon.
You just want to be happy.

Fly to the moon and back
You just want to be happy.
Stocking up on impossible hopes and dreams, however, seems to preclude reality, and lead weights of guilt and reason drag you down back into the stratosphere.
Crash-landing seems inevitable.

Band Candy

Muse

Your time is running out.

It’s so strange that the closer you get to your (deadliest) deadline, the more inspired you get…for other writings. As you pound out statistics and factoids from the keyboard, your mind is filled with imaginary maps and scripts for future comics.

You conclude your muse is essentially a schizophrenic witch.

Queen

Once, you wore a tiara to school.

Never mind your university has running priests and Zorros and annual naked men loitering around campus, and never mind your college is the most flamboyant of them all.

You wore a tiara. To class.

It was partly because of a dare, but you know better than that. You have a tendency to do these kinds of things, after all. Maybe it’s because you’re (not-so-secretly) guano crazy. Maybe it’s because you’re bored. Maybe it’s because, despite your pro-democracy and slightly-to-the-left leanings, you’re still the great pretender.

On your notebook: “I AM a pretty princess.”

The prosecution rests.

Rivermaya

Your mother grew up in a tiny, countryside town—your aunt told her Australian daughter it was “a ghetto”—and your dad was the type who would walk a mile from school just to use the toilet at home during breaks.

You, on the other hand, grew up a city girl, admittedly clueless in many, many things. But unlike so many others, you take the time to smell the metaphorical roses, and occasionally watch birds floating in stagnant water.

Because you know, in the blink of an eye, everything might change.

Brownman Revival

You exhibit certain aspects of your personality with different sets of acquaintances. The geeky side of you, the dork side reserved for lightsabers and fanciful ninja-pirate-princes, is known to a select few. You natter on about boys to girlfriends and gays, and babble about…well, everything to your sister.

It’s only when you reached college that you remembered the news and patriotism and issues, and the revival of your ideals was such you forgot not everyone cared for such conversation.

It cost you some friendships along the way.

But be cool. Be steady.

Maybe you were better off without them anyway.

The Smashing Pumpkins

It’s nearing Halloween again.

You used to love the holiday. As a little chubby thing, you would totter around the village, eagerly snatching up sweets, watch us the community suddenly turned into a host of witches, and goblins, and white sheets with holes cut out for eyes.

There was an annual contest for the residents’ children, with a prize going out for the best costume. In a photo, you look absolutely adorable as a bright orange pumpkin.

But your sister won the contest two years in a row, standing in the same garish purple fairy dress, basking in their love.

Life can be unfair.